What It Became

About letting go

It sprouted all on its own from seed that had been tossed by the wind over turned up soil in that season before. There in the loose, dark earth under spring-lit skies, green fronds grew, already telling what they were by their wild wispy way. Dill.

This was in the same garden I’d drawn plans for in the long hours of late winter days. Plans for a re-design. Plans for new. Plans intended for that spring. Change this, add that, beds here, here, and here, put a fence around it all. Plans that never came to be.

So, when I saw those scattered baby dills growing themselves in that old, soft-earth bed come spring, I let them go. Go ahead, little loves, sink your roots, lengthen your stems.

And they did. Grew wild alongside the beds of cosmos growing thick and wild, too.

There’s something about letting go. Seeing what happens when you simply watch. Seeing something (or someone) do what they were made to, all on their own. Seeing where they decide to grow. Seeing what they become.

What it became was an incredible wonder, a contender of beauty. It grew beyond my small notion of it being just an herb to dry for winter, or to pack fresh into jars of home canned pickles. It was a swath of feathery lemon-green, tall and nodding in the breeze, bees landing, sipping nectar, collecting pollen; deer sniffing and turning away.

And I saw it in a different way. Saw how beautiful it would be, thick and lush in a mixed flower border, or gathered by the armload into a tall glass vase, or its dried heads tucked into this year’s holiday wreath.

The last of the dill stood on golden stalks in the autumn bed, a starburst of seeds clinging where flowers had been. I snipped the stalks gently, and over a bowl on the larder table, I massaged them off their stems. Hundreds, thousands of seeds, each with the vision for next year’s garden locked inside.

I folded them into an envelope and tucked them safely away. Hope, again.

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Hello loves! I wanted to let you know about a couple of things…

First, our next Gather is coming up! Join me for an hour on Sunday, November 19, at 3:00pm MST. If you’re not yet a paid subscriber and you’d like to join in this live virtual event, simply upgrade your subscription and you’ll receive the link to come along. I’m looking forward to seeing all of you there!

Second, I’m working on an upcoming series and need your input! It’ll be a Q & A, so please email any questions you have for me to carmella@carmellarayone (dot com) and put Q & A in the subject line. Questions might be about design, simple living, our life/lifestyle, etc.